Anything is possible when our should becomes our must!
My professional background is in that of education & social healthcare within the area of mental health but today I’m an international award-winning speaker, an empowerment coach and writer. I spend my life empowering others to have the courage to be who they really are. The person they were meant to be before the world shaped them to be the person they see in a mirror
It hasn’t always been like that! Following a lifelong journey along life’s loneliest of roads, that of mental ill health, there came a point at which my ‘crutch’ – that of alcohol – had such a strong hold over me that I descended quite rapidly into the abyss of oblivion with a spectacular and near fatal descent into alcoholism!
Without boring you with laborious detail, suffice to say that my historic and equally traumatic battle with mental ill health had served to make me one of life’s victims. You know what I mean right? They ‘why me’ instead of the ‘TRY Me’ brigade and I bought the story I was telling myself hook, line and sinker.
Quite obviously I survived, but I came very, very close to subconsciously doing what I had always labelled myself too much of a coward to do – kill myself – but in doing so and then subsequently surviving I began rebuilding my life from rock bottom upward. I very quickly came to understand, that if I choose to carry on down the course of self destruction I’d set myself, then in less than 12 months (even though I’d survived the initial near fatal episode) without doubt I would be dead anyway within 12 months.
Which perhaps not unsurprisingly was the most…
SOBERING of THOUGHTS!
In the split second that it took for that to register I KNEW what I’d known deep down for some time; things had to change, immediately and for the greater good.
For me. For my long suffering family AND for anyone who (regardless of reason) had ever or may well ever come to find themselves in similar situations! Be that mental health issues, addictions or fear based living and so on.
Whatever it is that causes us to deny ourselves the opportunity of living a life infused with optimism, hope and the excitement of exploring the possibilities that life would surely bring us if only we allowed it to.
I wanted them then and even more so today, to be able to at the very least be capable of taking the chance to choose to change if they REALLY wanted or God forbid needed to, to the degree that I had
The rest as they say is history but today as I write this I do so as someone, who despite everything finally (almost too late) realised that my should; ‘I should stop drinking, I could stop drinking if I wanted to! Had in the most serious of fashions become my must;
If I don’t want to die then I MUST stop drinking!
So I Did!
Now that’s not to say it was easy, but it was necessary and more than anything it was WORTH IT!
Very quickly in my sobriety and the subsequent journey of self-discovery, I realised so many things, the main thing being was that my life to that point did not have to have been like that and had I taken responsibility for all the choices I’d made as an adult, then in all likelihood at the very, very least I would never have even started on the slippery road to oblivion let alone nearly died in the process and I decided that in the coming months and years I would use my own traumatic journey in order to be a …
A Catalyst For Change
For others in the same or similar situations. The thing that struck me very early on in this process was that at the root of it cause of every bad decision I’d ever made was based in fear; of rejection, the opinions of others, failure…the list is endless.
And when someone (anyone) is living a life which is rooted in fear it by definition becomes self-limiting. We talk to ourselves in a negative manner, we make excuses for the things we know we should do but either can’t or won’t. In essence, we believe the story we tell ourselves because it gives us the permission we need to stay very firmly in the place we have come to know as our normal, that of our comfort zone, even if it’s a place where it’s not nice to be we often choose to stay there for fear of what the decision to change things will bring to bear
The one place where if we stay then we don’t have to explain ourselves, justify our existence or do the things we would love to do but are afraid to do so because of the opinions of others, being ridiculed or a fraud for instance!
A Cautionary Tale
A life lived from a fear based angle, one where we limit ourselves because we don’t believe we are good enough, clever enough, confident enough etc is a life which will largely be one in which we deny ourselves the possibility of taking advantage of the myriad of opportunities life will bring our way. A life ruled by ‘What If’s & If Only’s – the possibility if you will of living the life you were meant to be before the world told you who you should be.
On balance today is the youngest any of us will ever be, how much of it do we realistically have left to sacrifice on the altar of opportunities lost?
Almost too late I realised the error of my ways both literally and in terms of the mental and emotional ways I had defined myself, my ability, my capability and there isn’t a day since that I haven’t given thanks for being able to say yes to the opportunity of the POSSIBILITY of reclaiming the life I had so very nearly let slip through my hands.
Today it’s become my purpose, my passion to enable others to know that they’re not only not alone but that it (whatever the it may be for them personally) doesn’t have to be like that
This week I spoke at the Lift Effects Conference in Croydon. The conference theme was that of possibility and below you can see me cover much of the above. It’s a speech which resonated with many of the audience as evidenced by the subsequent conversations I had with afterwards and one which many had said to both lesser or greater extent had impacted on their own lives in some way
I would love to hear any feedback you may have on this or indeed any mental health/addiction based subject. If it resonates with you or if maybe someone you know would benefit from watching it please feel free to share it along >>> WATCH HERE >>>
(Incidentally for those of you who don’t know me or perhaps what I look like? The attached image is one of me depicting the difference – personal cost – between that of living a fearful as opposed to a fearless life – scary eh?)
Remember YOU are not alone – Here if you want to connect – Sue